I'm Feeling 22!

Another month where I feel like so much has happened. 2019 has already been such an interesting year for me. My heart is so full, but it's been rough. The uncertainty of where I'll be after graduation has been haunting me more and more—something that I actually haven't been concerned about throughout my college career. I'm not worried about getting a job or anything, just scared for the decision I will have to make.

Anyways, I'm a little disappointed I wasn't able to do anything in the outdoors, but March has a lot in store for that!

One thing that I've been doing better throughout February is not being too hard on myself on my creative work. In the past, it would take me a long time to get over my artistic insecurities, making me drag out my projects. This Valentine's Day, I decided to make a giant Snorlax doll. Ali's been jokingly? asking me to make it. And to be honest, I was never going to make it. But part of my wanted to show off my skills that I've worked really hard on the last decade, and another part of me just wanted to make something spontaneously. So, I kind of just went for it.

I mean is this not the cutest thing ever!! I had to take a selfie with it to show how really big this is. I haven't made something like this in a really long time, and I was kind of surprised at how good it came out. I realized the skills I've learned from graphic design and sewing go hand-in-hand. Figuring out how to make Snorlax was very similar to figuring out the configuration for a packaging design. I'm probably way too proud of this, but now I'm super excited for other things I will be making in the future.

So, I realized I don't really have any photos from my 22nd, birthday. I didn't do much, but it was a sweet day—all my best friends called me or sent me gifts, and my work surprised me with a bombass chocolate cake. Also, it snowed and school was canceled. Thanks to everyone who makes life worth celebrating!

  

Lastly, February was a difficult month for me because I lost the love of my life. Sandi/Snoodle/Soondae/Arenita/Poopy/Geumsini, my precious little puppers, you meant the world to me. The way she brought joy to every person who came across her really inspires me. I still remember the day we drove all the way to Ontario with Dad and Katie, and I felt really strongly about picking Sandi specifically because she looked like a little runt. All her sisters were jumping up and down, and they were trampling over her. What's crazy is that Sandi's been in my life only 2 years less than my dad was. She was a pain in the ass, but she was our little pain in the ass.

Her last few moments were really heartbreaking, but I'm glad she isn't in pain anymore. Sandi, thank you for making my childhood so amazing, and for being the best dog that no one ever deserves. I love you.

Although this month was filled with a lot of brokenness, pain, and tears, my heart is fuller than ever.

So 2019 Started Like That

The past few years I've used Instagram as a creative platform to document and share my travels. I love the process of picking out that one fundamental photo that represents my entire experience, and pairing the photo with some sort of witty caption. I've been pretty good with not letting social media be a toxic environment to myself, but this year I wanted to focus on being much more intimate with describing the places I've been, the people I've met, and the unexpected happenings that will inevitably come upon me.

January 3rd, 2019
Erica flew in to Philadelphia from LAX. Her flight landed at 5am, and I didn't get much sleep because Ali had been sick since New Years day, and he wasn't feeling any better. I picked up Erica, we came back to my apartment, and then we knocked out for a few hours. I went to check in on Ali around noon, and told Erica I would be back in a few minutes. But we ended up at the emergency room and I left Erica alone for several hours. Erica and I have been there for each other for some of our lowest lows and greatest highs, and I'm so grateful for how patient she was, despite only being in Philly for a couple of days.

After Ali finally got admitted, I picked up Erica and we got some Dalessandro's cheesesteaks and Checker's fries. We did some shopping, I found a ski outfit for $12, picked up Ali from the hospital, stopped by H-mart to get food for our trip the next day, picked up Ali's medicine, dropped it back off at his place, then headed home.

But I still owed Erica a good time, so I put my dumbass emotional and exhausted feelings aside, and we went out to a dive bar! Yea, that definitely wasn't our scene. We left the bar and went to a sport's bar instead. On the way to Chickie's and Pete's, we had a really fun conversation with our lyft driver. His name was either Elvis or Sher, I don't remember, but he was from the DR, and Erica whipped out her Spanish skills with him. There wasn't any game on when we got to the bar, but it was honestly so nice having a friend who enjoys the same things that I do. I get really lonely in Philly not having anyone who enjoys the same outings as me, so seeing Erica once a year is very refreshing.

January 4th, 2019
Erica and I left Philly around 10am, got some Beiler's donuts, and headed for Jim Thorpe. Hiking with Erica is one of my favorite things ever because she knows what she's doing, and she doesn't complain!! The trail was really hard to read, and it involved a lot of crossing freezing, rushing water, climbings rocks, and second-guessing our directional decisions.





Ali called me during our hike, and he wasn't feeling too well, but he told me he was fine. I felt really anxious the rest of the day after that call because something felt really off...

But nonetheless, after the hike, Erica and I spontaneously decided to explore Jim Thorpe! The cute little town is filled with Trump supporters, but we found a sweet elderly lady who owned a toy shop, and she was hilariously liberal. We sampled some jerky, did a free wine tasting, and ate some ice cream. Then it was off to the slopes!

Blue Mountain Resort is GORGEOUS, and I wanted this to finally be the time where I can carve down the hill! Usually, I can suck it up and face my fears, but my anxiety was through the roof, and every time I fell, I started to feel scared for Ali.

On the drive back to Philly, Ali called me and told me he had been in the hospital all day. To be honest, I thought I finally made peace with my dad's death, but I didn't realize how triggering the hospital still was for me. I had to drop off Erica at my apartment, and then picked up Ali from the hospital. After I took him home, I took Erica to another sports bar!

January 5th 2019
I took Erica to visit Drexel's medical school, we visited the PMA, got ramen, then took her back to the airport. As crazy as those 3 days were, it's honestly what my life has become, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

2019, Here We Go...

YO HO HO, it's 2019, and I'M BACCCCKK.

2018 was an interesting year, and I've done more throughout the year than I could have ever imagined doing in a lifetime. It's been a long time coming, but I've really learned how to fight for my happiness this past year. I have no idea how 2019 is going to be, and to be honestly, I'm completely terrified and excited at the same time. I decided to get back to writing more about my adventures, and wanted to stay away from Instagram as the platform to do so. I'm hoping by the end of the year, I'll be able to create a book of my accomplishments throughout the year. I'll probably keep the "blog" more formal so that I can turn my stories into an actual book. But who knows, I never actually go through with any of my passion projects lmao.

In the meantime, here are my 2019 resolutions!

1. Do something creative every day, and keep track of it. I bought a notebook a few months ago that was supposed to keep track of my projects, but since I never used it (oops), I'll use that as a space to record my creative doings for the day. Today is January 1st, and I spent the entire day with the boyfriend, so I'll consider this blogpost my creative session for the day.
2. Make a decision on post-grad life. Figure out what you want, and make a decision for yourself, but understand that most of your happiness comes from the people you surround yourself with.
3. Keep up the weekly and monthly goals! It's been really helpful for me to write down my thoughts and see how I've been growing little by little. This is something I did well throughout 2018, and I want to continue through the new year. 

And of course, all is subject to change! It's going to be a hard year, I already know it, but I hope to find the little joys in each day to make it an overall unforgettable year. WOOHOO, let's do this. It's okay to be afraid...relax...take a breath....and here we go...

Seattle/Vancouver

It has come to my attention that several people have found my blog by googling me, and so I took a break from sharing anything personal on here and documented my thoughts in my Shinola notebook. And as much as I love handwritten trinkets, I can never write as fast as I type, Plus, I missed posting photos here. 

A lot has happened since I've last written, and as much as I think it could benefit me to write down all my thoughts, I think I'm going to pass. So, sorry future me, but if you're reading this and don't remember what I'm talking about, maybe that's a good thing.

Anyways, here are some pictures from my trip to Seattle/Vancouver! These are two cities I have been really wanting to go to for a while now, and I didn't think I'd get to go so soon. Katie just graduated, and we don't know when we would get another chance, so after a long drought, our family went on our first trip without Dad.

Just my sister trying to push me off a cliff.

A bunch of weirdos who don't take ant breaks while hiking.

Momma kept all the pretty genes for herself.

VIEWS

I'm so sad that pictures can't capture Mt. Rainier in all its magnificence. 

Another ballpark checked off the list!

It's just Grace.

The amazing Leah Shin!

It's Official!

HELLLOOOOO,

This may be the most important post on my blog yet. So on March 30th, 2017 at 11:57 pm, I got a phone call from the one and only Kim Hunter. I missed the call at first because I was sleeping. When I looked at the number, for some reason I felt like I missed an important phone call, but I can't make out why. I started to google the phone number to see if anything would pop up, but there was nothing. And just as I was about to go back to sleep, Kim Hunter left me a voicemail. I called him back to get the news—I won The LAGRANT Foundation scholarship and I will be flying to GMC in Detroit at the end of May!

This scholarship means that I am now financially stable for the rest of this year, and I can focus completely on school! It is all so surreal right now. I can't believe that just two years ago I was crying in a small closet at Curry House because I thought I couldn't afford college. What a journey it's been.

But wait, there's more. So I've been talking to Kim back and forth the past few days, and he is determined to get me employed for my co-op! Let me say that I don't know a single person in this world who has more connections than Kim, so this is HUGE.

Okay, so here is the biggest news... Kim promised to help me get my dream job, but if it doesn't work out, he is offering me a position at his agency in Los Angeles! SO IT'S OFFICIAL. I'm beginning my move back to California starting this June so that I'll be completely settled and ready to work by September.

Where I will be working is still a mystery, but I'm so excited to see what will unravel in the next few months. This is it. God is good.

Back At It

Here is another airport post! I'm so excited to be flying home for spring break because I wasn't able to last year. I'm so thankful for God for providing me with a ridiculously cheap plane ticket that happens to be the exact number of days that I can get off from work while perfectly matching with my finals schedule. It's going to be a really short amount of time, but it will be a really good mental break for me.

Airports are my favorite place to reflect and realize how incredibly blessed I am. It has been a crazy term, and it's crazy to see how much I have grown in the past two and a half months. This quarter was filled with a lot of failures, but also many accomplishments that I didn't know I was capable of... I finally consider myself a designer! Not having enough artistic skills has been my greatest insecurity the past few years. And although it is something I still struggle with, I finally took my first step into embracing it, and I can't wait to see how much more I'll grow as a designer throughout the years.

18 minutes till boarding....

I'm so proud of myself for coming to the airport early. I'm getting so old freaking out about time now haha.

Anyways...I'm just blabbering. I shouldn't be so vague in these posts because I want to be able to remember how I felt when I looked back at them. Oh well...I'm going to go and relax for now.

Taco Sin here I come.  :D

Resolutions

I don't think I ever made New Years Resolutions. But if I did, I definitely did not even attempt to stick to them. This year is a little different; I am feeling extra ambitious and I want to be able to look back at my goals and see how I did following through. So hello Michelle at the end of 2017, these are the changes I hope you made some effort on! And by that I mean, YOU BETTER HAVE DONE THEM ALL.

Lifestyle Goals:

• Spend at least 30 minutes each day honing on various artistic skills. For 2017, focus on these three crafts: drawing, digital media knowledge, and hand typography. 
• Read and write more! Listen to at least 30 minutes of an audio book or podcast every day.
• Exercise. You are at an all time low with physical laziness. Don't be afraid to start working out because you are so behind, we all have to start somewhere.

Spiritual Goals:

• 2016 was rough spiritually, but I always believe that difficult times make you stronger. That being said, I don't want to be stuck in this spiritual hole forever. You've been lost for a while, fell into way too many temptations, and haven't learned as much as you thought you would. Go out of your comfort zone and never stop praying.

Relationship Goals:

• Avoid using the phrases, I'm too tired, I don't have time, I don't have money. This one is going to be hard, but you really need to start filtering these excuses out of your mind.
• Appreciate everyone in your life. Send thank you letters and happy birthdays IMMEDIATELY! Don't push it off for later because every time you do that you end up forgetting.

My resolutions are pretty general, so I am hoping to create daily and weekly goals to push me to improve myself on these resolutions. (My passion planner has been helping me A LOT with this actually)

So here we go...another 365 days. That's 365 days to do some amazing things...